Various students can agree that low self-esteem and bad habits rapidly built during COVID-19 when people were homebound and online. When COVID-19 started, I was about to start sixth grade. While doing online schooling, many teens, including myself, thought we could get away with skipping class; I ended up skipping almost two months of my sixth-grade year. Back then, I had thought it was a brilliant and sneaky idea; I was very wrong.
When I started moving up grades, this bad habit came back to haunt me. I found myself struggling with school. I struggled with basic things that seemed easy to other students. I would compare myself to my peers, leading to a constant thought of: “I will never be good enough.” When freshman year of high school came around I wanted to change and strive for perfection.
Unfortunately for myself, I got involved with the wrong crowd. They wanted to do things that would intentionally bring them and me down, lowering my self-esteem even more. For example, skipping classes, disrespecting teachers and staff, not turning in work, never showing up to school, and even participating in illegal activities.
While I participated in some of these bad habits, I knew better than to participate in others. Being disrespectful and participating in illegal activities was something I never did, but I did develop a hard time with coming to school and turning in assignments. This left me far behind once again.
At this low point in my life, my goal for perfection was disregarded and all I wanted was to seem “cool” to my friends. Eventually, I gained the courage to leave those unsupportive friends to focus on my academics and future without having to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.
When the 2024-2025 school year started, I had a singular friend. This friend and I drifted apart and stopped talking entirely. Having no friends wasn’t something I was used to. This made me feel like an outcast; I didn’t talk to anyone and I stayed in my shell. This continued for almost a month until I slowly started making conversation again, breaking the bad habit of not reaching out. By doing this, I have made friends and opened my social circle more this year than ever before. This skyrocketed my confidence, for the better.
Everyone and everything has their flaws, which is what makes everything uniquely different. I have many things to work on and I have accepted the consequences of my actions. Positively, I feel more confident. The constant thought of “never being good enough” doesn’t occur as often. I have stopped pretending to be someone I’m not just to please the people around me. And most importantly, I don’t let people get to me, not allowing them to lower my self-esteem.
Learning to love who I am while simultaneously working on my flaws has overall made me a better, more efficient, and more mature person. Keeping your confidence with you and staying true to yourself will push you to strive for better and surely you farther in life.
