When the end of a school year inevitably comes around, there are a lot of goodbyes and well-wishes to send out. We say goodbye to the seniors and the teachers who are ready to enter into the next chapter of their lives. The goodbyes are never easy and always dreaded, but ultimately necessary. One of the hardest goodbyes that Sahuaro students and staff will have to bid this year is to one of our beloved biology teachers, Mr. Rutherford.
Mr. Rutherford has been teaching at Sahuaro since 2012, and he is notorious around Sahuaro for his eccentric teaching style – he meditates with students in class, takes them outside for nature walks, and gears a lot of his lectures toward mindfulness and motivation. He loves his students and he loves his job.
In the recent years since COVID, there have been some challenges that weren’t easy to tackle. During the pandemic, there was the struggle of online learning, which was hard on Mr. Rutherford because he thrives in environments where he can engage with his students, and that was impossible to achieve with remote learning. When the pandemic hit and things got really hard, Mr. Rutherford had to ask himself if he was still in the right place. He explained, “I didn’t get to do what I love. What I love is teaching kids, helping kids, and advising kids. And not just kids, but people in general. I love people.” For the first two years after the pandemic, even through the challenges, Rutherford still loved his job so much. “Coming back from remote learning, I thought, ‘I think I would do this for free. I think I would volunteer to do this. I would do it without the money.'”
However, this year felt different immediately for Mr. Rutherford. He realized that students just weren’t engaging anymore. Test scores were low, kids weren’t doing the assignments, and there was no motivation. He tried a multitude of things to figure out the problem and refocus everyone – meditations, nature walks, labs, interactive lectures. He said, “It was like…there were more failing grades and less motivation, but I was doing more than I ever was. I was running so fast that I wasn’t going anywhere.” After talking with mentors and colleagues, Mr. Rutherford came to the conclusion that the problem stemmed from phone addiction. He commented, “This year, kids were just numbing everything with phone addiction. Most kids don’t want to be at school, don’t want to learn, don’t care about grades, don’t think there’s value in education.”
This was an extremely hard revelation that Mr. Rutherford had to accept. He describes it as an existential crisis. This point in Mr. Rutherford’s life was extremely low and his mental health was greatly suffering. It was so bad that he wasn’t sure he could finish out the school year because so much of his identity was wrapped up in being a teacher. He was depressed and having anxiety attacks. Around the same time, he found out that he and his wife were expecting a baby, and he could not find it in himself to be there to support his wife. That’s when he knew that he had to make a career shift. He explained, “I care about this stuff so much. I realized that I care too much. I can’t be here because I care too much and I take everything too seriously and most of the kids don’t. It’s like an imbalanced relationship. I still love teaching. I am good at teaching. I just don’t get to do it most days. Kids just aren’t interested, and it’s their phones. I can’t blame it on the kids because it’s not their fault.”
When Mr. Rutherford made the decision to look for other jobs and leave, he had intense internal turmoil. He felt like he was abandoning his students. It took him a long time to figure it out and work through it, but by the second semester, he realized he could still help people in other ways. Right now, the future for Mr. Rutherford is a little unclear. Especially with a new baby on the way, his life is going to be completely different. He’s not sure what job he is going to end up in, but he is excited about the new opportunities available to him.
Mr. Rutherford wants students to know that he will continue to always be there for them. He loves keeping in contact with past students and is extending that offer to current ones. He is just one phone call or email away. His relationships with students will always be deeply valued and significant and he would like to still help students in any way he can.
We will miss you so much, Mr. Rutherford. You have left your mark on this school and you have left your mark on students’ hearts. We know that your future is especially bright and we wish you all the luck!
