Being a teen mom, there are a lot of statistics and stereotypes people try and push you into, of course, all of them are negative. I’m not stupid, or a dropout, yes my son’s father is in his life, yes we’re still together, and no I don’t plan on working minimum wage my whole life. My life was not ruined by having my son, and my son does not have a disadvantage in life – age does not define me as a mom. Being a young mom does not mean that my life is over or that I should quit trying to achieve goals.
It was hard not to feel selfish coming back to in-person school when my son was four months old, but I knew that it was worth the time away from him to get better grades and apply myself to my education, all of it was for him in the end. It’s exhausting, of course, but it’s not as impossible as everyone told me it was.
While I was pregnant I attended school until twenty weeks, which is halfway through. It was weird, but all around didn’t affect my schooling that much, besides being tired and hungry more often. After spring break I started online school and finished my junior year and credit recovery at the same time. I did the first semester of my senior year online as well, and my son was born three weeks after my senior year started. I stayed at home with him until he was four months old and came back after winter break.
You spend nine months preparing for labor, but as much as you prepare or think you know how it will go, something will go off plan. That’s not always a bad thing though, sometimes it’s what’s best for you or your baby, or maybe you’ve changed your mind about something. I got the epidural which is a catheter that runs through your back to numb you below the waist. However, my epidural didn’t work because I am resistant to local anesthetics. I felt everything just like someone who hadn’t gotten it, but I couldn’t eat or get out of bed because of the safety measures of having it placed. I also was emergency induced because my son had a stressed heart rate, which in my son’s case, was caused by his size and his being overdue. Being induced was not nearly as bad as I was told and it started off feeling calm and easy, of course, as time went on it got more intense and fast, and in the end, I ended up with a C-section because of other complications. I was upset about having to go under for my son’s birth because it was not how I wanted to do it, but I knew it was what was best for me and my son.
My day starts at 5:30 am and doesn’t end until 10:00 pm. I wake up and get my son ready while me and my boyfriend get ready as well. I take him to his grandma’s house and then go to school. I come home and take care of him and do my homework while he plays or sleeps. He eats dinner while I eat dinner and goes to bed shortly before I go to bed. Having a baby is like having a little sidekick who you do everything with – we nap together, play together, and eat together every day.
As far as school goes, it feels hard to fit in with people at school often. From the outside, my life is so different from my friends. I don’t go out anymore, dress the same, or have the same experiences. I spend all my hours doing school or taking care of my son. I nap when he naps and I eat when he’s distracted. My son was colic for the first four months of his life and still at seven months old, he has separation anxiety, so almost everything I do is done one-handed. Emotionally I feel consumed and drained. I’m too tired to have an interest or go out with friends. I feel so self-conscious of my body after having my son – some days are easier than others feeling comfortable in my new body. However, it doesn’t feel as bad as it sounds; when I get a chance to go out I just want to go out with my boyfriend and talk and be with each other, because we don’t always get that during the week when we’re frustrated and tired, but I’m so thankful when we do. As hard as life is, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I love my son more than life, which makes it all worth it.
Sometimes parenting is easy and sometimes it’s not, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my little family and wouldn’t trade being my son’s mom for anything. I know I can give him the life he deserves and provide for him the things he needs. I plan on putting myself through nursing school and my boyfriend is training to be an engine mechanic. Having a baby doesn’t mean my dreams stop, it only means I should try even harder for him. Balancing school and parenting is exhausting but the most worthwhile thing I’ve ever done. You’ll never realize how strong you are until you prove everyone wrong, not just because you want to, but because you have to. Having a baby is love that you feel so deeply it’s unexplainable. How could I not put every ounce of myself into giving him the upbringing he deserves?
