I was raised to act and dress a certain way and now that I’m older, I know why. My parents are teaching me how not to get raped. In our society now-a-days, we are teaching young girls/woman how to dress and act instead of teaching our boys/men how NOT to rape – yes guys get raped as well, but I am talking about my experience as a girl.  I am continuously being told by my parents to change my outfit because it’s sending the wrong message to people, and I have to change because it looks like “I’m asking for it.” Girls shouldn’t have to alter what they do just because our society doesn’t punish rapists, because our society doesn’t beat into guys’ heads that RAPE IS WRONG. The news and our justice system seems to side with the rapists. 97% of rapists are never incarcerated and 54% of rapes are not reported, so for the other 46% of rape victims who do report rape, it is 43% likely that their rapist will never serve time. Last year there was a reported 16,500 rape cases in the military and about 80-90% of rapes are never reported. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there; not only are military victims who are discharged 90% more likely to get an involuntary discharge, but the rapists have an 80% chance to be discharged WITH honor. Ridiculously idiotic, right? For the girls who do decide to report their abuse, they are bombarded with questions, such as, “What were you wearing? Do you just regret sleeping with him? Did you cheat on your boyfriend and use this as an excuse?” The court system very rarely sides with the victims, which leads to girls being extremely reluctant to actually pursue justice. Even with extensive amounts of evidence, the rapists are generally allowed to walk free with a slap on the wrist, if that. These people are ruining their victims’ lives and they are  getting away with it. While the rapists are getting off scot-free, most rape victims are experiencing PTSD, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and trust issues.

As a 17-year-old Latina, I have been raised to be independent and stand for what I believe in. So the culture shock that I experienced while living with different foster homes was astonishing. My biological mother had always told me that I am a strong, beautiful, proud Latina and would let me wear what I want because I was expressing myself. In contrast, my former foster parents and my adoptive parents make me dress a certain way so – like I said earlier – “I won’t send the wrong message.” It won’t matter if I say no, my mom would say that because I am dressed a certain way, the rapist will think I’m asking for it. I am TIRED of having to change what I wear, say, and act just because we are not teaching our boys how to respect women, because our society is telling young boys that rape is okay.

Sources: huffintonpost.com, rainn.org